Coming to the close of a chapter, and getting ready to turn to a new one is always an exciting yet fearful time. Trying to understand it, as well as deal with the feelings and emotions around it can be overwhelming. For some, it’s a get-out-of-dodge scenario. Life will be better on the other side of the tracks. Yet others, are so controlled by fear, or the feeling of abandoning their leader and team that they are paralyzed in their decision-making. I probably stayed too long in one of my positions because I felt like they needed me. I would be letting these people down. Only to feel stuck and trapped in a situation that was not changing.
Over the last 12 months, I have talked to many leaders heading into, in the middle of, or coming out of transitions. I found myself sharing some tips that were true to my own experience. I only transitioned 3 times in the 38 years of my full-time career, but these lessons, although tough to learn, were vital.
The first thing I share with clients is, “How you end one season determines how you start another.” In one of my transitions, I found myself thinking that what was in the past was done, only to realize three months later at my new position, I was using the lenses from the prior experience to dictate all I was seeing at the next position. A few months in, I had to choose to let go of some pain and hurt and ask forgiveness for bitterness that I came to realize was there. By asking for forgiveness, I changed the lens. Once I did that, a new world opened up in my new position. I was able to serve without suspicion or fear of being hurt.
In Pittsburgh, I taught a class that included an illustration about this very thing. If you can, imagine a piece of velcro attached to your shoulders and back collecting garbage. Things like hurt, words spoken in anger, loneliness, lack of appreciation, and even false accusations. Even things you didn’t realize you were holding on to. These experiences attach themselves to you. Then a new position opens and you leave, only to see all that garbage came along with you. Things still were stinky! It’s not until we honestly look at our heart and then allow the Holy Spirit to deal with the junk, that we can find fulfillment in the new place that God brings us to.
Secondly, the transition starts with an ending. You can’t grasp the new until you let go of the old thing. For many, they are not willing to let go. They resist. Loss is real in transition. Sometimes it’s the loss of not seeing the vision completed as you had hoped. For others, it can be loss of position, title, identity, and more importantly, relationships. Transition can reveal that some of your relationships are transitional. This can be a tough thing to experience. When I stepped down last July, months later, I was hit with the reality of loss. I had a mentor who encouraged me to grieve it. This wasn’t coming from a place of regret but rather from a place of processing the emotions so I could move on healthily. Learning to let go, allowed me to be able to reach ahead to what was next.
Lastly, as you prepare for change, it’s helpful to do it with someone who is not a part of the process and can help see things without the lenses you are currently looking through, with no skin in the game. I partnered with a coach a few months before I transitioned and I remember him pointing out things that I thought didn’t apply. However, he was able to see some landmines that were ahead for me that I was not expecting or would have been ready for without that relationship. I am forever thankful for the heads-up. Having a place to express my feelings without fear of judgment created a safe place for me to be honest with myself, as well as with him.
Transitions can be wonderful things. Having a fresh, clean slate to begin to dream and build is a wonderful thing. Doing it from a healthy place has to be intentional. Turn the page when it’s time, but make sure the next chapter isn’t a repeat of the previous one.
Ultimately, we know the one who holds our futures in His hands. You are safe there. You are protected. Lean into Him closely during transitions. He’s got your best in mind!
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!
